| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2006|01:15 am] |
say goodbye to single life.
hello to devin jacob parker.
091406
i love you bby! |
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| mfdndfjknhd FRIENDS ARE AMAZING ♥ |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|02:37 am] |
babyy am i doing to much?
so basically tonight has been pretty okay.
hammer came over with stew for me because i felt sickley we colored watched oc drove my sister somewhere then she went home.
then im just online playing prozac pills[ewas] gf lmao.
i love this girl like honestly.were so funny she can keep me laughing all the time. <3
well i'm out bitchessss.
<3 |
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| .[what am i going to do?]. |
[Jun. 26th, 2006|02:19 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  very sadd | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nothing♥speakersarebroke | ] |
i'll be alone but maybe more carefree
 
i'm sitting here tonight thinking about my life next school year.how lonely im going to be.how im just going to want to sit and cry walking through those same always where i'd walk with my best friend and cohen.walking them same hallways without hearing her scream elmo or hearing him mock me.
those hallways will be the death of me.
i don't want to go back, i want a new school one where i have no memories where i have no history with anyone or anything.one where i won't be fucking miserable in.is that to much to ask?
me and my mother went to wal-mart today to get a package holder thing because well idk i like them and i brought something for catie and brenda a little like idk it's nothing big it was just something i could put something in that i was giving them yee i wrote them each a letter and will give them each something so they wont forget.
this is really hard on me im loosing two of the best friends i've ever had.i'll never meet anyone like them five days away and right now i feel like just dying.i don't know if im gonna be able to say goodbye without crying.i don't want to cry in front of her i just don't. i never have.ughhh.
theres this girl kat she means alot to me. she makes me smilee and her entries about her and her boyfrined really give me hope for true love...honestlyyy i love her so much and i really hate that i lost touch with her for soo effin long she's honestly one of the best friends i have ever had.i love you katums(:.
well i guess i am out hotties.
<3
NOTE: new livejournal;; modernbeautyxxx <-- add it ♥ |
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| + this is for my bestfriend [caitlin julia] ♥ + |
[Jun. 25th, 2006|02:18 am] |
mirror mirror of the past why doesn't this happiness ever last;;
[original quote by me]
so basically my best friend is moving away in 6 days and i can't even be there the last day to tell her goodbye because i have to go to ohio im miserable right now i used to try to block out the fact that she was leaving but i can't now and what sucks more is we haven't hung out much this summer.
&& shes almost gone.im crying so much and it won't stop i was gonna make her a book but i'll never get it finished by the time she leaves but im still gonna make it just it won't be done for a few months, so i figured i'd write her the longest goodbye letter ever.
this year is gonna suck im gonna have no best friend no cohen nothing.god i miss him so much and i didnt even know him as long as her so i cant imagine how life is gonna feel like without her i never wanted to know what it was like but i guess im gonna have to.
i hope i get a very long goodbye eltter from her or atleast something sentimental.i don't know.
i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.i hate this.
caitlin julia hammersmith i love you so muchh |
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| ,fdm,lgndlgjbkj I GOT TO SEE MY BRITTANY ♥ |
[Jun. 23rd, 2006|03:58 pm] |
i forgottttt my new livejournal is;;modernbeautyxxx
today consisted of;;
going to sleep at 4:25.
awaking at 5:00.
driving caities mom to work.
going to angels [caitiesniece] house.
chilling.
going driving around for a bizillion hourrrs.
suprising brittany (: <3
chilling with her,
meeting my daughter.
eating goood mac&&cheese
stealing green tea.
going to ewas.
chilling there taking tons of pics.
going to get slurpees and mountain dew and other random drink beverages.
going back to ewas&&dropping her off.
going back to brittanys relaxing for about 25 minutes.
then watched colts youtubes.
then said goodbye):
got subway.
only to drive 2-2 1/2 more hours.
then sleep in car about 45 mins.
woke up [shitsandgiggggless]
got to caties.
they ate...[tookmehome]
now here i am tired sick and sleepy.
peace. |
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| + when r u coming back coming to me + |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|06:46 pm] |
I just cant believe you..&& when im alone you'll feel better want to come back home.....
so basically tomorrow me and bryanna are going to go see the lakehouse maybe jordan will be able to meet us up there? i dont know but it should be really fun.because the girl makes me laugh lol. yee me and devin got into another fight yesterday. i really fucking hate fighting with him i love him sososo much and it just fucking sucks to fight with him.
INTAKE:
chinese rice : 45-60 calories?
EXCERSISE:
35 swiming laps.
20 running laps [in pool]
15 walking laps [in pool]
tredmill: 45 minutes
:D yee basically im doing very good.in the pool when i was doing my excersises all i kept saying over and over was;;
[[ i want to be tan and skinny and beautiful. ]]
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| + ive been waiting here to declare a new meaning + |
[Jun. 14th, 2006|01:33 am] |
this is dedicated to devin;;
i woke up this morning not myself
and thoughts fill my mind of you with someone else
and all the pain i feel was caused by me
but i'd feel this pain forever if it means you're happy
but i know i'll always want to be with you
i'll love you forever, until time's through
i'll sleep the pain away
meet tomorrow with you
i'll sleep the pain away
and i'll pray you could love me too
I woke up this morning all alone
and it's no ones fault but my own
and all the pain i feel was caused by me
but i'd feel this pain forever if it means you're happy
but i know i'll always want to be with you
i'll love you forever, until time's through
well i know i don't deserve another shot
that's ok, i still love you with all i've got
I wouldn't trade anything for the time
i spent with you, got to call you mine
[♥]
me nd devin got into a big big big fight.
i don't think were ever going to be together now.
night .
<3 |
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| + If i have the powers to make scars to i have the power to heal them + |
[Jun. 13th, 2006|06:09 pm] |
so basically devins girlfriend whom i call a piece of nigger, tries to get cute with me she leaves me a comment saying "haha, you talk about devin like your with him" well if the bitch only knew he gets mad when hes not in my profiles, how he sits there and tells me he loves me and he wants to be with me so the little nigger bitch just really needs to shut the fuck up before i cash her fucking check.
i mean come on honestly i cant help that your own boyfriend wants to be with me and not you so lurk the fuck off my profile bitch..hahaha what a fucking loserrrrr. hmm yeah well basically hammer and brenda are over and we took pictures and watched the butterfly affect. and then i jsut check my profile and see that it's like stfu honestly lol.
im out peace beastsss.
<3 |
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| i gave my barette to a dead guy :D |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|11:49 pm] |
[caitlinjulia//clarencejovoun]
look at his smile. i miss it so muchh.god.
sunday;; my sister and me get caribou coffee then she drops me off at micheals for my mom my mom was done and decided to take us out to lunch i didnt want to look suspicious so i ate some fruit. then we get out of there and decide to go to the dollar store. i got 3 coloring books :D some barrettes and ANDREW DE TORRES[stuffed dinasour but so much moreee] :]] then we come home talk to hammer, shower straighten hair.go pick up her brenda. go see the omen..[OMFGGG eeesh creepy] then hammers mom comes and gets us we ask to take the car [hammer(caitlinjulia) has no license lol]her mom agrees i wanted to go to the cemetary, so then mmk we start to go there see lizzie and cody walking hahaha (: then well we get to the cemetary drive around once then she goes want to go into my old school where some kid killed himself in the gym...i agree, so me her and brenda park the car at dairy whip walk across there she opens the window then goes in i say i dont want to go anymore and lets just go...so then she goess ugh come on so i started to go in and then sirens starting going off we looked at eachother and fucking booked out of there we had to hide in cynthias garage we were sitting there, && the sirens were still going off hammer decides to go back and get the car she says if she isnt back in ten call her mom and start walking home so me and brenda were scared and hugging lol :] then we here her come in lol then she goes okay come on, then we go out there and she fucking dissapeared. lol so im like oh lets go this way then she was in the front...then we got in the car went andsaw cait phipps and im like LETS GO TO WENDYS! so we go visit her and our hearts were beating so fast haha i felt like i was on a dramatic episode of the OC <33 but yeah then we finally got to the cemetary walked around took pics i left my barette on this guys grave that i was just drawm to. :D yeah well i'll post pictures later kiddies.<3 |
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| oo1. |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|07:01 pm] |
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
+ EVERYTHING above is a. everything i am or b.everything that i adore or c.everything i need to be.+ |
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| + come on take a step towards me so you can figure me out + |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|01:09 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | sisters [lurk off] | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | beauty in the breakdown [inmyhead] | ] |
oh bullocks, i am so and completely in love with devin and i dont think he wants me anymore.
wtf is so wrong with me? i mean i know im not perfectly perfect..but what the fuck.im so sad and devastated that its unbearable i just want to give up on life,i hate this xxx |
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| + there's nothing wrong with not being perfect + |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|02:04 am] |
  
i know it's crazy to want to be and not want to be perfect at the same times.it's like i try to be both people but i hate the fact i'll have to be just like everyone else.i hate shoving my finger down my throat to loose that 3 pounds i ate today.i hate how people look at me because im not a eprfect size zero.i hate how i think im so overly obese that everytime i look in a mirror i breakdown and cry.i hate going to stores where all they have is adorableadorable clothes for reallyreally skinny girls and piece of crap clothes for bigger people.i hate not being able to have love because im not perfect enough for them.i hate life and really i see no point to it anymore.&& i miss ( Read more... )
peace out lurks xxx |
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| + im am nothing special;; of this i am sure + |
[Jun. 6th, 2006|09:01 pm] |
so life is pretty complexed, today was nothing it was cracked up to be.
must see movies.
the omen
the lakehouse.
yeahhhh boii.(:
umm well basically im tired i have to pee and im talking to DEVIN JACOB PARKERRR!!! iadore him so so so so much hes the one for me so fuck off lurks.<3 |
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| + im in love with a boi thats in love with a girl + |
[Jun. 3rd, 2006|01:41 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | robert iming me (: | ] |
 so i am tiredddddd, && i've come to the conclusion that i am in love with devin jacob parker. && idc what anyone thinks. he loves me and i love him. i'm gonna ask him out soon :D
i just don't want to hurt val. but fuck her bc she hurts him. my poor little eskimo.
man i drempt about him again last night and i love it because i adore just being with him in my dreams were always in a sunflower field. supp with that? but he was sitting down and i was laying with my body between his legs and my back on his chest and he had his arms around me and all i remember was smiling so big and when i woke up i was smiling so bigggg :)
damn i love that boii. <33 |
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| + this is what my life has become + |
[Jun. 1st, 2006|08:39 pm] |
do you see what you've done to me, you've made my life a miserable mess...but the truth is i'd still die for you... |
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